19.1 Complete

I signed up for the Crossfit Open.

A considerable amount of fear, nerves, negative and positive internal dialogue and 186 reps later…I can say I completed and survived 19.1.

I recently read a post by @carrielynnbea in which she candidly says she wasn’t going to sign up for #theopen because making leaderboard seemed out of reach.  I love it when people boldly shed light on their fears and the way they can limit opportunities taken. It happens to EVERYONE.

How many times do we decline challenges, shy away from a moment, or turn away from an incredible opportunity because we fear that our presence and/or performance will highlight our inadequacies?  How often do we convince ourselves it’s not worth TRYING because we won’t measure up to”the world’s” expectations or God forbid our own?

My greatest fear is that I am not strong enough.   

My physical strength reflects and feeds my internal strength.  When my body is strong, my mind and heart are strong. So, with this workout looming over me…of course my thoughts played on me…graciously offering me options to self-sabotage.

Nevertheless, I do.not.quit.

Every time I’m faced with the fear of not being strong enough for what life presents me…I stare it right in it’s fraudulent face and say, “Challenge accepted.  Let’s go.” Because by doing so, the perfidious thought that told me I wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t worthy of the challenge, or strong enough to keep going disseminates.

Every time I feel the fear and choose to move toward it rather than run away…

THE LIE that caused me so much heartache and anguish, CRUMBLES to ashes at my feet.  

186 isn’t the top score and it isn’t the lowest score either but, this doesn’t even matter. Because I just laid everything out on that gym floor and by doing so,

I told all those lies of inadequacy to “Fuck Off.”

And, I’m still standing, more alive than ever.

Thank you to @coachtron, @cammurray and @crossfitgrandeprairie for programming, guidance and support.  


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