I work with an amazing life coach, Candace McKim – she is seriously the BEST – think Ghandi meets Chelsea Handler – ya, I know, right?! THE.BEST.
In our mastermind group this week, we talked about limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are those beliefs that get in the way of our dreams and goals. We have worked on addressing, shifting and replacing limiting beliefs one-on-one in our sessions throughout this past year but this week, it really occurred to me how important it is to notice, identify and address these beliefs in order to remove them as obstacles. By noticing and really getting down to the source of what they are about, you can instantly affirm a more beautiful, self-serving and more beneficial belief. And by putting some more positive beliefs in your life, you will at the very least be a happier person…so why the hell not?
I just finished reading the book E2 by Pam Grout. It’s a super interesting and fun read about the law of attraction with some DIY experiments for seeing the law of attraction in action and manifesting cool shit in your life. There was one part of the book that jumped out at me and I just loved it so much that every time limiting beliefs come up, I get this fantastic visual. She was talking about limiting beliefs, particularly ones surrounding money and not having enough of it. She says that a friend of hers said when you notice yourself having one those moments where you are confining yourself with a limiting belief you have to “kick that limiting belief right in the nuts”. It made me laugh out loud. She goes on to say, that you need to go out and do something in direct opposition to that limiting belief. Basically, act and do what the rich person would do. She tells this beautiful story about wanting to manifest a trip to Mexico and how her and her friend had an evening of drinking wine, eating almond stuffed olives (a luxury food she believed “rich people” ate – one she wouldn’t have normally purchased but had decided to add to her cart while grocery shopping) and pretending to be poolside in Mexico having the time of their lives…
I just love this.
Mexico or not, how fun would that be?!
(She did end up manifesting that trip to Mexico, BTW.)
The truth is, we can BE, DO and HAVE anything we want in this life and we can change our lives at any moment if whatever it is we are experiencing isn’t to our liking. The only thing getting in the way are the beliefs we hold that limit our perspective and our view of self.
So what are some examples of limiting beliefs?
- It’s too hard.
- I don’t have enough (blank). (Time, Money, Energy…insert whatever here)
- I am not deserving.
- I am not good enough.
- I am not thin enough, smart enough, or liked enough.
Get the point?! Good.
The truth is that we are ALL so deserving of all that is good and all that makes our life marvelous and blissful…THIS IS WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT…immersing ourselves in all that makes us beam, laugh out loud and experience love and joy.
What would be an example of a more advantageous belief?
- I love and accept myself.
- I am so worthy and deserving of all good things.
- There is more than enough (blank). (Time, Money, Resources, Friends, Love)
- I am a BADASS.
And the list goes on, friends…
I’ve talked a little bit about affirmations in alternative posts, but this is where repetition and persistence comes in. Keep affirming, affirming, affirming and get into a place of feeling what it would feel like to have all of those dreams and the life you want to live right in the palm of your hand.
There’s a TED Talk by Amy Cuddy, that I absolutely LOVE, about how body language shapes how you perceive yourself and how you are perceived by others. I have linked the talk and if you haven’t seen this TED Talk…check it out…it is so very powerful. She talks about the science behind power stances and how this not only effects how we are perceived in social threat situations or social evaluations but also our hormone levels and our willingness to take risks. Super interesting stuff. And then toward the end of the talk, she addresses the phrase “Fake it until you make it”. This phrase accompanies an uncomfortable notion of counterfeiting worthiness, showing up as an imposter, or an ever present feeling of, “I don’t belong here”.
She tells a personal story about experiencing feelings of powerlessness in her own educational pursuits and the daunting “I don’t belong here” sentiment. At one such point in her life, she was encouraged by a professor, that she did belong at Princeton, and was advised to get out there and fake it, fake it, fake it, do, do, do those talks that you didn’t feel like you deserved to be doing. “Fake it until you make it”, her advisor said. Years later, she had a moment where she was delivering the same advice to a student she was teaching and she realized she no longer felt like she didn’t belong or that she was pretending to be something she wasn’t. After repeatedly showing up and “pretending” to belong, she had embodied and became that person she was striving to imitate. She harnessed the courage to do the things that she loved, the things that scared her, even when those things made her feel like a faker, and she gradually came to the realization that there was no more pretending. She concludes,
“Fake it until you become it. Do it enough until you actually become it and internalize it.”
If we continue to show up and do the things that the people we strive to emulate are doing, eventually one day you will become that person.
It’s like working a muscle, it’s about stretching yourself, getting uncomfortable over and over and over again until one day you fit the context you’ve been dreaming and shaping for your life.
So, get out there.
Dust off that Wonder Woman cape.
Practice those power stances.
And starting doing – pretend until your reality becomes your wildest dreams made manifest.
And start kicking those limiting beliefs right in the nuts…