People ask me all the time, “How do you do it all?”
Like Shonda Rhimes said, “I don’t. When I’m succeeding in one area of my life, I’m failing in another.”
This is the truth of all truths—and it’s not something to be ashamed of. It’s something to be aware of.
When I took my last graduate course, my kids asked when I would be done writing papers because they wanted to know when I’d stop being so “angry” all the time.
Derk’s response? Two years.
Most women are juggling more than three roles at any given time—career, partner, friend, caregiver to aging parents, homemaker… often all at once.
For me, it’s a constant balancing act—and it’s not always a joy ride.
When I’m prioritizing my family, my health and fitness goals, a baby who wakes multiple times a night, and pursuing graduate education, my social life is nonexistent.
When I’m writing, organizing meals, managing schedules, and coordinating soccer trips… my house cleaning goes to hell.
The reality is this: there are only so many hours in a day.
Instead of looking at the undone task list as a series of failures, I’ve started reframing those items as tasks that need to be pushed to another day, another week, another time—or maybe even an entirely different season.
When I’m focused on one thing, I have to let go of having high expectations in other areas.
The most valuable skill I’ve learned to manage overwhelm and prevent burnout is regular self-reflection.
I journal. I write tasks and actions I’ve taken that align with my goals in a paper agenda. I review what I did and didn’t do each week, and I get brutally honest about what’s working and what isn’t—so I can recalibrate, refine the system, and make sure I’m still on the path I actually want to be on.
I ask myself:
Am I spending my time on what matters most in this season of my life?
Every Sunday, I spend 20–30 minutes mapping out the week ahead—workouts, meals, appointments, study blocks, writing projects.
Here’s the thing, though: just because it’s written down doesn’t mean it gets executed perfectly.
There is constant adapting, pivoting, and shifting—because that’s life. Sometimes George’s nap doesn’t happen, which means the workout moves to the evening. Sometimes the study block gets pushed to after bedtime. Planning isn’t set in stone, but it provides intention and serves as a visual, tangible reminder of what’s essential that week.
Going to bed early makes me a better person.
Staying up late gives me more time to work on projects.
So sometimes I have to choose: Do I want to get more work done, or be more patient and less tired tomorrow?
It’s all give and take.
Actions That Help Me Keep My Shit Together (Most Days):
- A paper daytimer
- A master to-do list in my iPhone Notes app
- A shared Apple calendar with Derk (with reminder alerts)
- 20–30 minutes on Sundays to plan workouts, meals, groceries, appointments, and deadlines
- Daily journaling—even if it’s just a brain dump
- An evening ritual: filling the Keurig, mixing electrolytes + creatine, pre-logging food, reviewing the next day (5–10 minutes max)
- Going to bed early most nights to increase my capacity for patience, clarity, and problem-solving.
- And sometimes? Staying up late to get more work done.
MSMAMACHIC 